Smiling through the tears

Be strong, they say. What do they mean when they say that? Do they mean that when you see the person you love the most with someone else, it shouldn’t affect you? Hold those tears back and pretend as if everything is fine? Is that what being strong is about? That’s more of being hollow deep inside, I guess.

Why is crying considered a weak person’s characteristic? Why do people deny the existence of their tears? Why do they seek refuge in a place where no one can see them to cry? Accepting that you are in pain and letting your tears out and making peace with them is perhaps the bravest thing you can do.

Why are people so scared of being alone? I think they often confuse loneliness with being alone. Even with so many people around if you still feel alone, that’s when you are lonely. But I never feel alone. Tears are always there to give me company. Tears are your friend, not enemy. Don’t shy away from them. Emanating from the deepest and darkest abysses of your soul in a multitude of intensities, tears set you free. Instilling new passions and rekindling dormant desires, tears are the gateway to life. The day you run out of tears, would be the day pain leaves your heart and with it, love. It’s that numbness I’m scared of, not the immense pain. Because it’s this very pain that makes me feel alive.

So embrace the pain, kiss the tears and let them enliven your life.


So what do you do on Rakhi?

Rakhi — a festival to celebrate the bond between brothers and sister. As a little girl, Rakhi used to be one of my favourite festivals. The reason is quite obvious. The gifts and chocolates I got from my brothers for tying a colourful thread on their wrists. However, life changes as we grow up. We all move out of our hometowns for higher studies and jobs. It’s been more than a decade since I celebrated Rakhi. I sulked for the first few years when my elder brother moved to Mumbai for college and I was still in school. While all my friends enjoyed celebrating Rakhi, I got bored at home. The day after Rakhi was even worse as they shared their joy on receiving the gifts, chocolates and money from their brothers. Continue reading “So what do you do on Rakhi?”

The Purgatory Called Maybe

Life is a quest

That makes one wander

In search of that undefined peace

Travelled deserts and seas

To seek that ultimate bliss

Found nothing but cruelty and greed

And then one day

She thought she found that heed

Heaven on Earth it seemed

Tranquil nights, beaming mornings

The lust for life had finally been fulfilled

Until one dark, stormy night arrived

The lightning and thunder wreaked havoc

Pain and plight fraught their lives

In search of better days, he left

Sleepless nights, foggy mornings

Streams of tears, beds of thorns

Hell on Earth it seemed

Destiny crossed their paths again

Hopes lit up like lights on Christmas eve

“Come home”, she said

“Someday I will”, he said

She smiled

Until he added


And that’s where she lived all her life

The purgatory called maybe




Just when 2013 was nearing its end I knew something was different. I could feel it. Not in a good way though. I felt a certain discomfort. I couldn’t figure out what’s going wrong. It was just like somebody taking out bricks from the walls of your house, one after one, you don’t realize in a split-second that you’re losing ground but you surely and steadily are. And sure enough I was. Continue reading “2014”